


Road Trip of Randomness

by TheFreakWithTheWings



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Gen, Road Trips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-29
Updated: 2016-04-29
Packaged: 2018-06-05 04:10:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6688615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheFreakWithTheWings/pseuds/TheFreakWithTheWings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>prompt: an Avengers roadtrip, possibly with Loki.</p>
<p>Well, it's got one Avenger, and Loki does make an appearance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Road Trip of Randomness

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Theatre_Ghost](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theatre_Ghost/gifts).



> A birthday present for my friend.
> 
> I have gone on literally 1 road trip my entire life, and I read a book the entire time.

Darcy was blaming Loki for this whole mess. 

One minute, she and Jane were analyzing data in the RV from the Bifrost site after Thor had returned to Asgard, and the next some freaky dude wearing armor and a goat helmet had appeared out of nowhere. Darcy, getting a gut feeling that the dude was bad news from the crazy eyes, lunged for her taser. The dude had frozen her in place with some sort of magic or technology or something, and while he was distracted, Jane walloped him upside the head with their frying pan, which Darcy impulsively decided to call Betsy.

Unfortunately, Betsy didn’t do much more than irritate the dude and make him drop Darcy.

“What do you want?” Jane asked, brandishing Betsy threateningly at the dude. “Who are you?”

“I am Loki of Asgard, and I have come to visit my brother’s beloved while he is,” Loki hesitated. “Otherwise occupied.”

“Fuck,” Darcy whispered, scrambling for her taser again. Two seconds after she grabbed it, it turned into a fish. A living fish. It flopped around in her hand before she shrieked and threw it at Loki. It bounced off of his armor and landed on the floor, flopping helplessly.

Loki sighed dramatically. “You Midgardians have such barbaric practices. Honestly, attacking guests, for shame.”

“You destroyed our town with a fiery robot of death and you expect us to be hospitable!” Jane said incredulously.

He shrugged. “You have such a short lifespan anyways. Who cares if you die a few years earlier? I’ll be taking my leave now.”

He disappeared.

Darcy’s knees gave out, and she crumpled to the floor. “What the fuck was that? No seriously, what the fuck,” she whispered to the ceiling.

“I have no idea,” Jane muttered as she collapsed on the floor next to Darcy.

Darcy’s phone started buzzing.

“I think you should get that,” Jane said after a minute.

“You never answer your phone,” Darcy mumbled belligerently even as she pushed herself up onto her hands and knees and crawled around, following the sound of her vibrating phone. She eventually dug out up from under the couch. How it had gotten there, Darcy wasn’t sure, seeing as she usually kept her phone in her back pocket. That was probably Loki’s fault too, she decided.

The caller ID told her that the caller was someone named Barton. Darcy squinted at her phone for a second before she remembered that Barton was one of the SHIELD agents. She was fairly certain that she’d never put his number into her phone, so seeing it now was vaguely creepy.

“How the hell do I have your number?” Darcy demanded as soon as she picked up the phone.

“That’s classified, sorry,” the agent said.

“Then why are you calling?” she asked, dreading that it would be for the reason she thought it was.

“Who’s calling?” Jane hissed.

“SHIELD,” Darcy mouthed back.

“Your RV is in Minnesota,” Barton replied.

“What!? That’s impossible, we’re in New Mexico!” Darcy exclaimed. 

“What’s going on now?” Jane asked.

Darcy put her hand over her phone and held it away from her ear. “SHIELD thinks we’re in Minnesota.”

Jane got up and opened the door. “I think they might be right. New Mexico isn’t this green.”

“That little shit. If I ever see him again, I’m gonna hit him over the head with Betsy,” Darcy swore before she turned back to the phone and said “Thanks for the heads up, bye now.” before hanging up.

“Who’s Betsy?” Jane asked.

“Our frying pan,” Darcy answered absently, staring at her phone. “So we’re in Minnesota, and we need to get back to New Mexico. Road trip!” 

Jane sighed wistfully. “So much data we could be gathering.”

“First we need more gas and also food for our super epic road trip,” Darcy said as she slipped her phone into her pocket and got into the driver’s seat. “I’m thinking Twizzlers.”

Darcy ended up getting Twizzlers and Kit Kats for the super epic road trip at the gas station. Jane had apparently decided to be lame because all she got was a bottle of water.

Sadly, there weren’t any tunes on the radio worthy of being a super epic road trip theme song, and SHIELD still had Darcy’s iPod, so she had to make up her own song. It didn’t work out so well. Darcy was a little tone deaf, and after the third time Jane had begged her to stop, she decided that maybe opera singer wasn’t a valid career option.

The RV had horrendous gas mileage; they had to stop and refuel in Iowa.

“Stupid Loki,” Darcy grumbled as she filled up the tank. “Apparates us all the way to Minnesota and doesn’t even leave us any money for gas.”

They ate lunch before hitting the road again.

It was also in Iowa that they met Steve.

“Hey Jane,” Darcy called to the back a few hours after they stopped to refill. “I wonder if that hitchhiker is a serial killer.”

“Do not. No. We are not picking up a hitchhiker,” Jane ordered.

“Too late,” Darcy sang as she pulled over. “Hey, dude, are you a serial killer?”

He looked at her askance. “No.”

“That’s what a serial killer would say,” Jane said.

Darcy elected to ignore Jane. “Do you need a ride?”

He shrugged. “You offering?”

“Come on in, farmboy. But be warned: if you are a serial killer, I will tase you from here to Kingdom Come.” Darcy said.

“Noted,” he said as he got in the RV. “And I’m from New York.”

“So,” Jane said, her voice falsely pleasant. “What brings you out here then?”

“I wanted to see the country. I’ve been away for a while, and it seemed like a good idea at the time,” he said. “My name’s Steve, by the way, Steve Rogers.”

“I bet you’ve heard all the Captain America jokes then,” Darcy said. “I’m Darcy, and the boss lady is Jane.”

“Why, uh, why would you think I’ve heard Captain America jokes?” Steve asked, his face paling alarmingly.

“I mean, I thought your parents might’ve been history buffs for naming you after the dude,” Darcy said, eyeing him warily. “Are you okay?”

Steve sat down and buried his face in his hands. “Fine, I’m fine.”

An awkward silence descended over the RV, broken only when Jane announced that she was taking her turn at driving.

“Where are you headed, Steve?” Darcy asked, desperate for anything other than more awkward silence.

“I’m going to see the Grand Canyon,” he replied, not meeting her eyes.

“Hey, cool, we’re going to New Mexico ourselves.”

“Mmm.”

“Want a Twizzler?” Darcy held out the mostly empty bag towards him. 

Steve blinked. “Is that licorice?”

“Strawberry flavored.”

They munched on their licorice in content silence before: “So why are you two going to New Mexico?”

“Weeeeellll,” Darcy glanced towards the driver’s seat to see if Jane was paying attention. Jane loved to talk about her research to people who would actually listen. “Jane’s an astrophysicist who studies wormholes, or something like that.”

“They’re Einstein-Rosen Bridges!” Jane called from the front.

“Yeah, that, and New Mexico is kind of a hotspot for ‘em.”

Steve smiled tightly. “That’s not possible. You’re pulling my leg.”

“Dude, no. Shit, did Jane here you say that?” Darcy whispered frantically.

Jane did, in fact, hear Steve. She pulled the RV over and parked it on the side of the road before making her way back to them.

“Jane, we’re gonna get a ticket,” Darcy warned.

“I don’t care. I’m sick and tired of people telling me that I’m a fraud and discrediting my research. You saw the proof, and I never signed any of SHIELD’s non-disclosure agreement forms.” Jane said.

“Wait,” Steve said, looking at them in a new light. “You’re with SHIELD?”

Jane narrowed her eyes. “Why do you want to know? Oh my god, you’re one of their jack-booted thugs, aren’t you?”

“Um, I’m really-” Steve began, but Jane cut him off.

“This is why we don’t pick up strangers on the side of the road. They all end up being shady government agents, here to suppress our basic freedoms,” she declared.

“To be fair, the last muscular blond we picked up from the side of the road wasn’t a government agent,” Darcy pointed out.

“Hey!” Steve said loudly, pushing to his feet. Both Darcy and Jane flinched. “Sorry about that. I’m not with SHIELD. They just really wanted me to join, that’s all.”

There wasn’t much to say after that. Darcy went to the driver’s seat and got them back on the road because, despite her curiosity over Steve’s story, she didn’t want to get ticketed. She could hear Jane and Steve talking about space from where she was sitting. The miles flew by, and two days later they reached Puente Antiguo. Steve caught a ride to Arizona and was gone.

Almost a year later, Jane and Darcy were in Tromso, Norway doing research when the aliens invaded New York. Before they were distracted by Thor, Darcy noticed a man wearing a distinctive red, white, and blue suit, and had a moment of confusion, followed by recognition.

 


End file.
